In my weakness...

I need prayer. I need patience. I need God, always.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NLT)

⁹ Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. ¹⁰ That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong [through Christ].

For almost 10 years now, I have known that I have Fibromyalgia. It has been tough, but for the most part, manageable.

Over the past year, my Fibromyalgia has been worse and the treatments have been increasingly ineffective. A couple weeks ago at my doctor's office, my doctor decided to run some tests to see if there is something else going on.

There is.

I have been diagnosed with Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, aka MCTD. I had never heard of it and I didn't really know what to make of it. After reading the information the nurse provided me, and doing some research, I've discovered that this is a pretty mean disease, with a poor prognosis. It has no known cause, no known cure, it's painful, it's progressive and it's destructive.

On the other hand, MCTD is a name and in Jesus' name it MUST bow down!!

Philippians 2:9-11 (NLT)

⁹ Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

I need prayer warriors to join with me. This disease may be "incurable" to doctors in the natural world, but I know that the Great Physician, Jehovah Rapha, Our Lord is the God of the Super Natural. 

I know that everything takes place for the glory of our God. 

Genesis 50:19-21 (MSG) 

^19-21 Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart.

Keith and I are believing that we will grow old together, I will be there for my children AND someday grandchildren, and this is a perfect opportunity for us to watch Christ Jesus work in our lives! His plan is perfect and I will find peace in that, whatever His plan is!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NLT)

¹⁶ That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. ¹⁷ For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! ¹⁸ So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Halloween & Doctor's Report

Halloween

So, we sort of celebrate Halloween. It's not really a big deal, and Keith & I could totally do without it, but I think it's fun for kids to have a reason to dress up and be kids! Our little "neighborhood" doesn't ever have any kids trick-or-treating and I think it would be weird to show up in someone else's neighborhood to do that, SO we went to Publix. They do stuff for kids on Halloween like various games, face painting, hair painting/coloring, cookie decorating, and just basic kid-friendly trick-or-treating fun. After we left Publix, we drove over to my parents' house and let the boys show off their costumes.

Brayden was a shark (borrowed from a friend) and Landen was a scuba diver (home-made by mommy). Landen's pronunciation of his Halloween costume improved through the course of the night... at first he was referring to himself as a "Super Diaper" which progressed to "Scooper Diaper" and finally landed at "Scooper Diber". Once the accessories came off and he was in all black, Keith told him he was a Ninja. The pronunciation of Ninja never did stand a chance.... Landen got the sounds all backwards and called himself an In-jan /engine/ for the remainder of the evening. He never fails to make me laugh.

Gatorade Oxygen Tanks, Spiral Binding Snorkel, and Play Construction Worker Goggles 

My 3 boys

Shark deciding he doesn't love the headpiece

Shark diet: Marshmallow ghosts

Pregnancy Update: Week 35

1. How Far? 34 weeks
2. Bump? That's an understatement at this point
3. Weight Gain? 7 pounds
4. Belly Button? flat, stretched, and tender (especially when I run into door knobs)
5. Blood Pressure? 136/87 (it's been up this past week)
6. Fundal Height? 39 weeks - running.out.of.room.
7. Fetal Size Approximation? 39 weeks - He weighs about 6.5 - 7 pounds
8. Maternity Clothes? exclusively
9. Fetal Heart Rate? 143 bpm
10. Movement? YES! he is ALWAYS moving SOMETHING (kicks, punches, elbow jabs, etc)
11. Cravings? Lemonberry Slushie from Sonic
12. Aversions? Green Grapes, Red Beans, Onions, FISH
13. Symptoms? Swelling, CLUMSY, Braxton Hicks (some are rather painful), Headaches, Exhaustion, Emotional, Moody, Back pain, Pelvic Pain, Forgetfulness or just general stupidity, Nesting, and then some rather unpleasant things
14. Sleep? NOT GOOD! Difficulty going to sleep. Can't STAY asleep. Uncomfortable. I could go on...
15. Gender? Boy
16. Name? Declen Miles (Landen pronounces it /Duck-oh-lan/... PLEASE let this change before Declen is old enough to know better!!!)
17. Best Moment? Getting to fill out the Big Sibling book with Landen, watching him getting so excited to meet his new little brother, and having Landen rub my tummy to tell Declen goodnight. 
18. What I Miss? having room in my lap for Landen to sit... Brayden is still small enough that he just climbs on top of the bump and roosts there.
19. Doctor's Report? Declen's blood flow/oxygen to his brain looked good today. My amniotic fluid levels are in the upper range of normal. I convinced my doctors to allow me to continue working 1/2 days. I have NOT been diagnosed with preeclampsia but I am on preeclampsia precautions (since I am apparently a "ticking time bomb") and when I am home I HAVE TO STAY IN THE BED. Beginning today, I have to take a baby aspirin everyday (Change: The aspirin made me break out in hives). My doctors all agree that any day now, I have to be prepared for them to tell me to stop working and go on bedrest/have this baby. I apparently have 3 weeks MAX before Declen arrives. BUT THE BEST NEWS OF ALL: The fluid on Declen's heart has resolved itself!!! They said this is something that would not go away before he was born, but would hopefully stop increasing... IT'S GONE! PRAISE GOD!

Buddies, Beds, and Blessings

Life Updates

• Landen and Brayden are really becoming the best of friends! They are to the point now that (for the most part) they play with the same things, like the same books, look out for each other, etc. It’s such a precious time in our house! And though they do occasionally end up getting possessive over toys (or trash or cats or mommy/daddy’s attention or anything at all), they are also getting really good at sharing and helping each other!

Peanut Butter

Poor thing was so sleepy... I just had to take a picture

• Landen is officially sleeping in his big-boy bed (the bunk bed) and Brayden is FINALLY and officially sleeping in his big-boy bed (the toddler bed).

First night for Brayden to actually SLEEP in the toddler bed!

• Nana took Landen to get his first PROFESSIONAL haircut. He did great and it looks great!

• It occurred to us this past week that Declen is going to be here SOON! We dug out the baby clothes and got them in a drawer. It is crazy to think that the clothes we brought Landen home in are already too small for Declen. But it’s always fun to me to pull out the boys old clothes and get that flood of memories that go with the outfits… the milestones, the mishaps, the funny things, the learning experience, etc. Along with getting Declen’s wardrobe sorted, it also dawned on me that I’m probably going to need to get moving on packing a hospital bag (and overnight bags for the boys) one of these days! Especially since I have a history of unexpected birthdays (Landen @ 35 weeks during what should have been his Baby Shower and then Brayden @ 36 weeks)… I plan to pack bags this week!

• Keith has 3 weeks left of clinicals...  THREE WEEKS!!!!! I can't believe he is actually going to be finished with school! FINALLY! 

• We are now on car number 6! The wagon, despite the NUMEROUS desperate attempts at fixing every possible thing that could be related to the car, has officially kicked the bucket. Luckily, we were able to find and trade-in our money pit wagon to help us pay for a 2007 Chevy Uplander (by the grace of God and with the help of Keith’s dad). It’s nice and roomy and CLEAN (though I’m quite sure we will change that very quickly)! All three car seats fit with plenty of room to spare!! God ALWAYS provides!

• We celebrated my Dad's 66th Birthday last night... the whole way home and until he fell asleep, Landen was was singing "Happy Birthday to Papa! Happy Birthday to Papa!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pregnancy Update: Week 34 

(These stats are really more from last week as I have my weekly appointment tomorrow)

• How far? 33 weeks, 0 days - which means I (hopefully) have 4-6 weeks left in this pregnancy
• Bump? Most definitely!
• Weight Gain? 5 pounds
• Belly Button? Pretty much flat
• Blood Pressure? 136/86
• Fundal Height? 33-34 (last week)
• Fetal size approximation? 36 weeks (last week)
• Maternity Clothes? Definitely
• Fetal Heart Rate? 121 bpm
• Movement? YES! And when he moves, my entire midsection goes with it!
• Cravings? Chicken Tetrazzini, steak, green beans, key lime pie, lemon stuff...
• Aversions? Strong smelling stuff, green grapes, red beans, sausage, onions, FISH
• Symptoms? Braxton Hicks, Swelling of my hands and feet (especially by the end of the day), Headaches, Exhaustion, Moody, Emotional, Back Pain, Pelvic Pain, MAJOR Forgetfulness, some rather unpleasant things... and I've currently got a sinus infection & bronchitis so I’m not feeling my best, which apparently affects my blood sugar :(

Swelling by lunch time
Please disregard the polish... it's not a priority

• Sleep? Not great.
• Gender? BOY!
• Name? Declen Miles
• Best Moment? Ultrasound showing that the excess Amniotic Fluid has decreased, Declen’s growth slowed down a little this past week, and his blood flow/oxygen levels looked good!
• Doctor's Report? I don’t have preeclampsia! They checked my liver enzymes and everything came back normal. My platelet count looks good. The Gestational Diabetes (up until the last couple days when I've been sick) seems to be cooperating with my diet and medication. We are still trying to keep as much stress off of Declen as possible, so I am now working 4 hour days so I can rest more, which will HOPEFULLY allow me to continue working longer before starting my maternity/full-time leave (and maybe not have bedrest AT ALL for this pregnancy!). 

The Fight

There are many things that I don't understand or that I can't fully relate to, and I know that the same goes for everyone. We have never walked in anyone else's shoes and we don't need to, as we all have our own to fill.

We all have a choice to fight or not fight the battles in our lives. Some people fight with diseases, some with finances, some with infertility, some with abuse, some with things we cannot even fathom, and any combination of the above.

One of the greatest callings we can have is to be a parent, to be given the blessing and responsibility of raising, molding, influencing, and fostering a child to grow for the Lord. I think as a parent, young or old; biological or not; current, past, or future; planned or unplanned; some of our biggest battles are related to our children. Keith and I have been blessed with precious children. For us, the course of getting them here has been a HUGE battle - fighting for them and with them, for their safety and development, for their health, for their survival, for THEM. Sometimes the battles seem overwhelming, unending, hopeless, or downright frightening! Thankfully, I have a God who is sovereign, who is unchanging, and who promises to be our healer and our provider. God promises to come to our rescue EVERY time (Psalm 34:19) and NOTHING is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37). Though we are inevitably going to face difficulties, we are never alone.

Right now, we are in the midst of a fight. I am 30 weeks pregnant and we've gotten some tough news from the doctors. While at my doctor's appointments Monday, I was told that due to my having gestational diabetes, Declen has Pericardial Effusion (fluid on his heart) and Hypoxia (limited oxygen particularly to his brain). Declen is measuring 4 pounds 8 ounces which is four weeks ahead, but this is size only; his organ development is still that of a 30 week baby. My blood sugar is not reacting to what I eat/don't eat, so I have started taking some medicine. Hopefully the medicine will decrease the junk in my system and ultimately take some stress off of Declen's little body. My doctor said that if this medicine doesn't do the trick, there are other medicines we can add to the mix.

We are so blessed to have a group of great doctors, family, prayer warriors, friends, etc to surround us during this time! But more than anything else, we are so blessed to have a God that can handle this. God is not a god of infirmity, pain, fear, or suffering! He is the God of peace, love, healing, strength, and power. These conditions (gestational diabetes, hypoxia, pericardial effusion) are names, and with a God whose Name is above ALL names, these names have to submit. I find so much peace in knowing this!

Please join us in prayer as we claim victory over these diagnoses and watch what God has in-store for Declen's precious life!

7 Eleven

So many things have changed, grown, blossomed, and occurred over the course of the last 4 years.

We: (In no particular order)

• got married
• learned how to pray with and for each other
• have been pregnant 3 times
• graduated from undergrad (neither of us were on the 4 year plan)
• moved 3 times
• owned 5 different cars
• started (and almost completed) Physical Therapy School (Keith)
• changed churches (though we ADORE both)
• survived some SERIOUSLY trying times
• have grown tremendously in our Faith and Hope in the Lord
• have seen our love has change, mature, and deepen like we could never have imagined
• made some TONS of mistakes
• learned to work through disagreements and stubbornness
• faced death: Keith’s Grandma Shirley, my Aunt Sara, and my cat (Gus)
• learned about priorities
• survived a couple kitchen/grease fires
• learned to budget and balance finances (as a couple/family)
• became parents
• are blessed in every aspect of our lives and have honestly witnessed that God ALWAYS provides
• have lived a total of 3 years without television (3 years and counting)
• learned through several attempts, that NEITHER of us can build (or sustain) a fire (in the fire place)
• destroyed clothes, phones, sheets, haircuts, shoes, dishes, a dvd/vcr, glasses, some plants, a hair straightener, hair dryers, dinners, lamps, toys, a fan, a car, chairs, umbrellas, and so much more, BUT learned to repair chairs, glasses, clothes, shoes, toilets, door knobs, toys, lamps, an attic door, carpet stains, seat belts, etc.
• learned how to cut hair on adults and children 
• laughed with and at each other
• cried with each other
• overcame kidney stones, cysts, swine flu, regular flu, pre-eclampsia, colds, bronchitis, bronchiolitis, stomach bugs, snot, strep, poop, migraines, immunizations & reactions, pink eye, mastoiditis, eczema, slap cheek (5^th Disease), diaper rashes, thrush, reflux, colic, RSV, allergies, surgeries, and hospitalizations
• Made new friendships and rekindled some old ones

I knew that I loved Keith when I married him. I knew that God brought us together. What I DIDN'T know was what an incredible blessing he is in my life and how much more I would/could love him now! I couldn't have asked for a better husband, daddy, friend, or partner!